Homes on both sides of the world - an expat's experience
What returning to my roots teaches me about belonging, identity, and home
Living far away
I live far away from home - the other side of the world, in fact. An enthusiastic and adventure-seeking 22 year old version of me decided that I wanted to go and see the world. I had got a taste for travel when I spent a semester abroad studying in Newfoundland, Canada, during University. I loved absolutely everything about living somewhere new - meeting people, discovering places, and the sense of adventure. As soon as I returned home, I started planning my next adventure for when I graduated. What started as a six-month world trip in 2010 ended up being the foundation for the life that I have built in Australia.
In that time, almost fifteen years - even writing that feels utterly surreal - I have created a life that I love. I have built a community, a friendship-family, a business and have fallen in love with Sydney, my second home. That’s the paradox of being an expat, you see - you usually end up with two homes. Naturally, there are endless benefits to this, but there are plenty of negatives too - namely, that missing people becomes part of your DNA. Despite this plight, I do consider myself deeply lucky to be feel totally at home on either side of the planet.
Groundedness
Having just completed a six week stint in my family home in Dublin, I have landed back in Sydney feeling ready - my cup is full and I am feeling beyond restored. I’ve been lucky to be able to visit Dublin a lot since the pandemic - a total of six trips over two years for funerals, weddings and holidays, and I notice that this feeling of groundedness is one that I have each and every time I return from a visit.
I think there’s a magic in going back to spend time with the people who have known you the longest. No matter how long the visit is, it always makes me feel a little bit more whole. I can almost viscerally feel my roots anchoring further down into the earth. It’s a grounding experience that brings me back to myself.
We can so easily fall into our own routines, letting old habits or rituals fade, but I always find that I pick things up again when I’m back - whether it’s the humour, the rituals, or the turns of phrase. It’s a reminder that I can adjust my own day to day ways of being and reconnect with parts of myself I might have forgotten. All of that love and family time - it’s as if I literally fill my cup up and return to Sydney a surer, more solid version of myself.
Importance of roots
I am immensely proud of the life I’ve built in Sydney - I’m proud of my friendships, my relationships, the intentional and considered choices that I’ve made to create a life that I love. It’s a life that I am happy to return to - after a holiday, after a trip home - it’s a life that I find fulfilling and gratifying. But, despite this life that I’ve built on the other side of the world, I think my trips home act as a firm reminder of the importance of the roots that form us, and where we come from.
We all contend with how busy our lives are these days - the world is smaller, our day to days are exceptionally full, and our attention spans are constantly being fought for. Within this, it could be easy to forget who we once were and where we came from. And potentially even the people that were a part of that origin story. But forgetting this - our roots - could mean giving up chances for growth, and missing opportunities to use the past to shape our future.
Of course, it goes without saying that not everyone has positive connections with their origin story - many don’t. Naturally, in order to mature as humans we must grow and change and evolve. This is how it should be - this is how we get to know ourselves better and know our place in the world. But perhaps we shouldn’t mistake evolution with outgrowing. Even for those with a tricky relationship to their original “home”, there could be a version of it - a place, a person, a memory that will be worth returning to. And a return to the people, places and stories that shaped us can also be a return to self.
Reconnection
No matter how happy I am with my life in Sydney - and this happiness is not immune to the obstacles and hurdles that inevitably appear - that recurring trip back to my home in Ireland is essential to my being, and to my soul. It reconnects me with the parts that could be forgotten - the long term friendships and memories, the jokes and banter, the turns of phrases and witticisms, the rituals and values. These are the little pieces of us that make up our whole, and like anything, could be eroded over time without these reminders.
It’s a good feeling, this feeling of having supercharged your root chakra. No matter what ‘home’ means to you - whether it’s your family down the road or your chosen family - making the effort to return “home”, can offer a fresh perspective on yourself. One that will give you strength and resolve to navigate whatever life has in store next.
✨Sparkly Recommendations ✨
From a week of wedding celebrations in Dublin for my sister - so much joy, laughter, fun, dancing, over-indulgence and happiness!
📖 What I Read: Mother Mother by Annie MacManus. A well known Irish DJ, her first novel is a story about addiction, family and young motherhood, set in Belfast. It’s a gripping story and beautifully written - I loved it.
🎬 What I Watched: Dept Q on Netflix. Crime drama/ thrillers/ detective shows are not usually my cup of tea, but I started this with family and binged it on the flight back to Sydney. It’s a Scottish remake of Danish noir books and it’s well cast, darkly funny in places and full to the brim of twists. Very well done and worth a watch!
🎧 What I Listened To: Hard Fork: The AI Jobpocolypse. One of my favourite podcasts and a weekly non-negotiable listen in my podcast queue, this episode delves into how AI might already be taking jobs away from humans. As someone who has spent their career in the recruitment industry, I am keeping a close eye on how AI will be affecting the future of work. The podcast casts a fairly bleak outlook, but it’s a strong reminder that changes in the world of work are afoot.
🍽️ What I Ate: Uno Mas, Dublin. Maybe one of the best meals I’ve had out!? Continuing on from our San Sebastian adventures, my family and I ate at Uno Mas for my dad’s birthday - a gorgeous, small Spanish restaurant in Dublin, the food and service is out of this world. Add to your list!
Thanks for reading!! If you’re new here, I write essays about slow success, life transitions, and finding meaning in the mess. As well as recommending some of my favourite things every week! ✨