Ambition at what cost? Rethinking work, flexibility and success

And deciding what an extraordinary life is worth sacrificing

I have very much been in my Dublin/ family bubble the last few weeks - I allowed my brain to switch off after I shared my resignation with our team and our LinkedIn world last week. It’s been a total treat to move slowly and I have embraced the entirely unseasonal Irish sunshine that has been nonstop since my arrival three weeks ago (we’ve had one day of rain - this is unheard of, people).

I did have some time to myself yesterday to catch up on podcasts and decided to listen to Steven Bartlett interview Emma Grede on Diary of a CEO. Grede, for those not in the know, is the powerhouse business brain behind the Kardashian empires Skims, Good American and Safely. She has appeared on Shark Tank in the US and is a hugely successful British entrepreneur, one who comes across as extremely articulate, confident and considered - the two hour episode makes for a really interesting listen.

Emma Grede, cofounder of a number of Kardashian brands and Diary of a CEO guest last week

They covered a lot in that time and Grede shared her experiences and advice on trusting your gut, not being able to really “have it all” and even her own fertility journey - she sadly experienced three miscarriages before having twins through a surrogate. Although a lot of what she said throughout the episode resonated, I did find their coverage of work-life balance to be particularly jarring.

Both Grede and Bartlett clearly feel passionately about the “old way” of working - they prefer being in the office and they think that, in order to be successful, you need to work all hours under the sun. They even agreed that if a candidate expresses interest in work-life balance at interview stage, they would consider this a red flag and would not consider them a good fit for their business.

Grede went on to say:

“Work-life balance is your problem. It isn't the employer's responsibility.”

“If you want to be number one, it’s going to cost you something. And the truth is, that’s a decision only you can make.”

This, I don’t agree with. As someone who has lived through the cost of hustling at pace, I believe this view is both outdated and damaging - especially when it fails to name what that 'cost' actually is.

Over the last decade running a recruitment business, I have had a front row seat to the work-life balance debate and through shifting workplace behaviours. The pandemic changed everything - it created a seismic shift in how we worked - what we value at work changed, our search for meaning and purpose increased, and we saw individuals choosing to align with organisations who actually saw them as people, rather than just as a number.

From an employer’s perspective, it’s just smart business to take responsibility for employee engagement, satisfaction, and work-life balance. I believe it is up to organisations to create psychologically safe work environments that bring out the best in people and that attract the best people to want to work there. That, in my experience, trickles down to the bottom line.

But in listening to Grede and Bartlett discuss work-life balance, you can hear that they believe hard work, grit and hustle results in success, both for the individual and for the organisation.

I have also met many leaders who feel the same way.

But does this stance come from a position of privilege?

What I appreciated most about the opportunities for flexibility that COVID gave us was how it acted as a great leveller.

Suddenly, the workplace became friendlier to women, to carers, to introverts (it’s me, hi), to neurodivergent people and to anyone else who may not thrive in a full-time office environment.

As an introverted leader (very capable of masking as an extrovert) in an extroverted, sales driven industry, my poor nervous system took a hit over the years - I dealt with a lot of overstimulation which usually resulted in burn out. During the pandemic, when we were all at home, I felt happier, healthier and more ‘well’ than I had done in the previous years (despite the uncertainty and isolation that came with it). It was a game changer for me, and for how I worked - and I cannot be alone.

I think Bartlett and Grede’s stance on flexibility reflects the fact that they thrive in traditional structures - and that those environments were built with people like them in mind.

“You cannot be extraordinary without putting the work in. If you want an extraordinary life, it takes an extraordinary level of effort.”

Grede openly says that to be successful, you have to put the work in. This, I can’t argue with. I worked my arse off in my career and achieved great success, but I do not think that the only means to an extraordinary life is to hustle, sacrifice and force.

I think now, more than ever, people are realising that an extraordinary life can be created in other ways - extraordinary moments of softness, of presence, of alignment. And that doesn’t mean that it can’t be coupled with abundance.

Personally, as I walk away from a lucrative business that gave me as many highs as it did lows, I see this time as a moment of reckoning. A time to shed old patterns and to redefine ambition. A time to look inward and follow the pull of where my heart and soul want me to go next, in favour of the extrinsic chasing that results in material wealth.

And it seems I’m not alone. It is becoming clear that this pendulum swing is happening on a mass scale. According to a recent Deloitte survey, over 94% of Gen Z named meaningful work as their top priority when job searching, prioritising it over salary, promotions or perks and benefits. Anecdotally, this is completely aligned with my experience of how recruitment has gone since the pandemic.

I don’t doubt that, while there will always be people who choose to hustle and work seven days a week for success, the likes of Grede and Bartlett may have a hard time finding their dream team of staff who prioritise ambition at all costs. And maybe that’s a good thing. Perhaps it’s time to redefine ambition - to recognise that success takes many forms and can actually be quieter, softer and yet, equally fulfilling.

Has ambition or success changed for you over the years?

✨Sparkly Recommendations ✨

Reporting from another beautifully sunny week in Dublin, eagerly awaiting my reunion with Ant (the boyfriend-fiancé) at the airport tomorrow! A week filled with potatoes, sea swims and an exceptionally high step count.

📖 What I Read: Assembly by Natasha Brown. A staff pick at a local bookshop, I read Assembly in a single afternoon on the beach - a powerful, concise novella exploring race, class, and capitalism.

Three weeks of sunshine and counting in Dublin - heavenly

🎬 What I Watched: Your Friend, Nate Bargatze. An American comedian who my dad introduced me to on this trip, it is well worth a watch. He’s deadpan and hilarious - top quality comedy!

🎧 What I Listened To: Straight Up podcast. In keeping with the topic of work and success, this episode speaks about what ambition means in 2025 and how more people are leaving high paying corporate jobs for more balance and free time. A good next place to go if this topic interests you.

🍽️ What I Ate: A lot of potatoes, naturally. But also, one of my favourite Irish pastimes - the disposable BBQ. My Australian fiancé can’t quite comprehend this concept, given how barbecuing is a integral part of their culture - but it works for us, even if mildly comical to look at!

A disposable BBQ for vegetarians, coeliacs and vegans - we’re not the easiest bunch to cater for!

This is how we BBQ in Ireland

Thanks for reading!! If you’re new here, I write essays about slow success, life transitions, and finding meaning in the mess. As well as recommending some of my favourite things every week! ✨